Okay-here's where the rubber meets the road.  Or the botox needle would hit your face.  I have maintained that I did not want LA face.  I am scared of needles.  I do not want to look like Priscilla Presley.  Then, recently, at 49 with wrinkles starting to emerge, I have begun to waver.  Maybe I do want a smooth forehead.  I think I look good, but I don't look like I'm 40 (which is actually when I really loved how I looked).  I don't need to look 25-because really, I was kind of a dope at that point and I think it showed on my face.  But I loved 40.  I was feeling great.  Right after finding Brooke and self coaching, going on the Tahoe retreat, exercising all the time, 2 trips to Hawaii, 1 amazing husband, 3 adorable kids, lovely house-I was feeling super content.  And that showed on my face.  And now?  Are you dissatisfied with how you look?  No-honestly, since August I have been overall happy with my Happy Plan.  I think, overall, I look pretty good.  My size is another matter.  I have forced myself not to think about it-I have just been thinking about Happy.  I've done a ton of steps, increased my strength and stamina at the gym, I'm fitting back into last winter's clothes more easily, I actually dumped the Old Navy jeans I'd gotten in the spring because they were literally falling off of me.  I've been taking time for my hair/makeup/clothes/nails.  I think I'm feeling happier and more content, and that has been showing on my face.  When I look at the pic from RH, I see that my face looks really good, and my body looks ginormous.  And in the pic Amy sent me from the other night at the cooking class-oy vey.  I know it was a side angle-but I look big.  Not pleasantly plump-but LARGE.  And not at all what I'm imagining myself to look like.  So that's when I falter.  When the image I have of myself in my head doesn't match what I realize everyone else is seeing.  So what are other people seeing?  What does your family see?  What does Amy see when we're out having fun?  They see someone kind, and fun, and funny and smart and a good listener.  They see someone who cares about them.  Someone who is smiling, and interested in other people.  Someone who works to provide a happy, stable, home.  Someone who has a lot of wonderful friends.  Someone who strives to take care of herself through healthy eating, lots of water, lots of movement.  Someone who is content and secure.  Okay-so back to the Botox Party.  If you're not happy with your overall body shape, or feel like you want to be fitter, look at Jami doing yoga, and think:  cool-I'd like to be able to do that too, a shot of Juvaderm is not going to do that for you.  Why not take the $300 and put it towards a personal trainer to help do the heavy lifting training that you keep saying you need and don't actually do?  Or go back to Beth for more Pilates classes?  Also-maybe try a new hair stylist-that woman in Julia's salon seems really talented.  And you are in desperate need of a dental appointment.  Because isn't it weird to try and erase how your face is looking naturally? Do you want to look like you are from the OC?  No-not really.  I just want to look like me-but without wrinkles on my forehead.   Sigh.