Her death illustrates so clearly to me that mental illness and depression truly warps your sense of judgement and changes completely who you are as a person.  She was the most nurturing teacher any of my kids have ever had.  She hugged every kid as they left her classroom, she hugged the parents at every meeting.  She was devoted to her daughter-she told a million stories to the kids in her class about Dakota.  She was so anxious to have another baby-I know she must have been thrilled to finally have had a second child.  I cannot reconcile the caring, loving person with what happened.  To not only take her own life-but to do it in such a violent, horrific manner that would surely have traumatized anyone who witnessed it.  And to devastate her family in such manner??  She must have been out of her mind.  There is no way the person she was would ever do anything that would hurt others so deeply.  I truly cannot wrap my head around this.  And I'm guessing B will hear about it at school-and yet I cannot bring myself to tell him.  It is so awful.  Horrible.  Tragic beyond words.  I cannot process it.  Mental illness is as real an illness as cancer.  It changes who you are mentally and emotionally as surely as malignant cells devastate your physical body.