Girlfriends

Yesterday I was talking to Kathleen about her freshman daughter who's having such a tough time at school.  There was some sort of "girl drama"-ugh, and currently she's having all kinds of issues from that.  Kathleen said "Girls suck."  Which-okay, middle school, I think that was the apex of suckiness, and there were definitely mean girls.  There were also incredibly wonderful friends like Laurie, and other really nice girls who were kind and sweet and not bullies.  But after that?  Even MC which I truly hated, there were only a few girls who were out and out unkind-and I can really think of one instance in particular over 3 years-most were actually very nice.  It was the cliques that I couldn't deal with.  And yes-there were a few things along the way with close girl friends that have been painful (Lisa at the end of senior year, and whatever went down with Sloane), and I know that E has had her share of "mean girl" experiences when we were in Maryland.  But for the most part, I think people are really trying to do the best they can.  Even some of the moms at OPE who aren't as friendly I don't think "girl drama".  I just think people are insecure, and have their own weird issues that manifest as whatever.  I now just focus on who I like, and I do my thing-and that ends up working out.  That's really been a huge shift even since we moved here.  Yay for the wisdom of your late 40s!  I don't have such a chip on my shoulder anymore.  I think that's also made me more approachable, and I have a slew of friends, and people I'm friendly with.  I don't focus on slights.  That's made a huge difference in my attitude.  I assume most people are nice.  I don't depend on others for my emotional well being, or how I'm defining myself.  If they seem snobby or cold, I assume they have something going on, or they're insecure.  I don't think, "oh they don't like me, there's something wrong with me".  And I don't go around anymore with the belief that I'm weird and people are going to find me odd.  Seeing Lisa's post yesterday about me and having Heather chime in just gives me more evidence that I'm being authentically me and putting myself out there, and as a result, I end up with wonderful people in my life.  "You are such an encouraging friend! I've had a crummy day and sometimes just knowing there are people like you in the world makes me smile! 
😘thanks!"