If I gave myself a goal of writing 1,000 words a day for a month, what would happen?  Would I be able to do it?  Well, okay, I could fill a page with 1000 words-but would they be readable?  Would there be a glimmer of something there?  Some bit of wisdom?  Or humor?  Or would it just be trite observations to fill the pages?  I won't know unless I do it.  I'm feeling inspired by "Wild" and all the walking I've been doing.  I've also done a gossip fast and scaled way back on the screen time.  I'm trying to listen to good music.  I'm trying to keep myself from running around.  I did have really nice birthday lunches with E and D-but it seemed less frenetic than it's felt.  And last night's dinner was really fun.  Usually I enjoy being at our home more than being over at other people's because then I don't worry about the boys and what they're up to.  If it's our house I don't care if they're loud, crazy, make a (bigger) mess.  However, it was so nice to just bake challah and mandelbrot and show up for the whole rest of the meal.  It seemed so luxurious to be walking, then reading, then taking a long shower and leisurely getting ready versus running around like a mad woman making dinner and trying to make things "pretty."  And worrying that I'll do shabbat "wrong" somehow.  Even after all these years.  I like to see how other people do it.  Candles on the dinner table.  Then the blessing over the wine.  Then the blessing over the bread.  And putting all the food out on the table and passing it around.  I've done buffet style for years.  Maybe because our kids were always little and handing hot platters around seemed daunting.  But it was nice.  I should switch it up a bit.  I hope they didn't find us too much.  Because .  .  .  I know sometimes she'll talk about other people and I don't want to be them:  the ones who's kids are awful, messy, bug the dogs.  I think I need to get over that.  It's not really trusting your friends if you think they're dissing you behind your back.  I think overall the kids were good.  They were polite.  Nobody's perfect-but they are sweet, well mannered kids.  However, it made me realize that their table manners need work!  I kind of knew that but somehow they'd pull it out if we were out.  They need to learn to cut their food!  That's a lot of pressure you put on yourself and them.  You do realize this?  The only time I've found other kids rude is when they've announced they're "bored" or there's "nothing to do."  Or if they've really intentionally trashed something (or gone into our bedroom) or let out our cats :).  Other than that (and it still hasn't stopped friendships or social gatherings) I'm really easy going.  I think that's one of my best qualities.  I love to host.  I love to entertain.  I am pretty social for an introvert.  But I need to keep my spaces too.  Like today being wide open:  so nice and regenerating.  Tomorrow we have plans.  But today-ahhh.