January

I've been much better about writing more, reading actual books, doing projects like closet organizing and capsule wardrobing,  and cutting back on the internet nonsense.  I've been listening to the classical station in the car-not junky pop music.  No celeb gossip sites in weeks.  I am going to cut back on the online stuff even more-even the "good stuff"-because even that becomes a time sink.  Here I am.  I have the answers for myself if I sit quietly and listen.  Or walk outside and look around without all the noise.  I want to simplify more.  I want to just be.  Breathe in and out.  Breaths like the waves.  One of my best memories is going to the beach alone to recharge after a rough night with a sick kid.  Sitting at the Self Realization Gardens is the best.  I love the guided meditations on you-tube.  Even right now.  Gabie's in bed, the older kids are with Stef clustered around the computer playing WOW.  It feels peaceful.  Quiet time.  I need to make sure I am getting enough of that.  I've spent a lot of time over the last few years establishing us here.  I have made friends.  I've volunteered.  I did some work on starting a business.  I was out and about a lot.  I was presenting myself as someone who is connected, who has a lot of friends, a lot of plans.  But sometimes the stuff or people I was filling my time with were not necessarily "my kind of thing."  I need to keep remember my Word of the Year:  Nurture.  Let that be my guide.  Also-not every moment has to be planned.  The weekends could be more laid back and not so filled. (although if I don't plan, we end up at home around screens-so I do need to give us some activities.)  Part of that is in reaction to what feels like years of wasted time we could have been doing "more" when we lived back east-like museums and sightseeing.  Of course remember that most of the time I was pregnant and/or had really small children.  It's hard to do stuff all the time with little kids.  Plus with S's career at the time-the last thing he wanted to do on the weekends was to be on the go.