I feel such a mix of emotions about E going off to college.  I think I felt more sad months ago with the realization that it's really the end of an era.  (And she was anxious and stressed and hanging out more and needing my support-it's totally changed in the last few months.)  Our family is going to be so different.  We've had all of these different versions of us-from the newlyweds on the move, to the couple with the baby, to a family of 4, to us with 3 kids and now almost 8 years with G.  And with each of these versions I have these pictures in my head: the young couple, madly in love about to take off across country, then with E in Bmore-some adorable little outfit on-in our townhouse in Owings Mills; then in the South Road house and all its leafy, humid, splendor-with the 2 of them on playing on my bed "Make your super baby muscles.  Say it loud, say it proud: I'm a baby"; and then it's fall at the Milkshake concert at the BMA with E, B and baby A-and I'm crying because I'm so happy; and Friday night dance parties with everybody, and a Starbucks somewhere in Pennsylvania with someone remarking on how beautiful they all are, and trips to Disneyland and Universal and WDW.  And now? She's ready to move on with her life-and I remember so clearly what that was like.  I couldn't wait to begin with college, and career, and new friends, and romances and travel-so I can only hope for her that she's all in and ready to experience it all.   And our family is moving on to unknown territory.  Before I was kind of dreading it because what I have had: the big, wonderful family with lots of babies and little people, is all over-and that was all I wanted when I was younger.  Now I have to create new dreams, and new plans-and while I had been anxious and sad and unsure-I'm actually really getting excited.  I'm looking on the bright side-what can be great about having older kids, fewer kids to contend with, what do we want to do as a couple, what do I want to do myself.